The Fabulous life of a teenager (part two)

My point of the glamorized view of teenagers by little girls was proven to me yesterday while babysitting. There were two little girls one was 9 and the other 5. They wanted to pretend, to play a game but to my almost amazement the game that they wanted to play was to be teenagers in high school.

We all had celebraty boyfriends (the Jonas Brothers) and we went to prom. We all had pocket books and tons of jewelry. Prom started at 4 o'clock in the evening and I wore a pink tu-tu and jeans. Our life consisted of dating boys and going to fancy dances and dinners. Fabulous.

In there little girl minds prom was great, there was no grinding, no substance abuse, and defiantly NO kissing. We were way too young for kisses on the lips. we don't do that until we're at least twenty. duh! We had no homework weeks. and parents weren't an issue. 11 o clock was late and a romantic date consisted of a waltz at the Pizza Palace.



to put it simply, I had to pretend to be a 17 year old.

friends

Last week i went on a mission trip with my youth group. This trip is notoriously the place to make new friends which is by far my favorite part. But in this you tend to not hang out with the friends that you hold the closest. You see them, vent to them, catch up but the majority of the time you are meeting new people in your work groups, small groups and just around during meals and such. This got me to thinking how much i truly love my friends. My real friends. My best friends.

These are the kind of friends who know you so well that you can't hide anything from them. These are the kinds of friends who you don't have to say a word to express how you're feeling, a hug would probably to it better anyway. You know that a hand will always be there for you to squeeze and an ear to listen. these are the friends who regularly see you in a tee-shirt and hair a mess and couldn't care less. These are the friends in which silence is never awkward, in some ways its almost comforting.

These are the friends that you know, you just know, that its going to be a life long friendship. These are the friends that know your flaws, oh so well, and still choose to call you a best friend back. These are the friends who even though you do nothing you still have fun.

these are my best friends.

the step out of my world

I didn't cry, not at all. I didn't think i would but i mean it was my older brothers graduation. It hasn't set in. the fact that hes really leaving. moving somewhere else.

he's no longer a high schooler. He's 18. He's an adult. He can no longer be considered a child. Yes, he still has a lot of growing up to do but he's no longer in my world. My high school world, still hanging on to childhood by a thread.
As my dad said, this is when you have to let him go and pray they've done their job as a parent. that they have raised him well, with the values and morals they know he has. This is truly the start of his life on his own, not connected to his family. It is his turn to make a name for him self. He will now choose his own path and there is nothing we can do but watch and pray as he gets older and more mature. Visits will eventually slow down and summers home will become none existent. After this summer, my home will no longer be the place he calls "home" anymore. This is the start of a new page in his life. The start of his adulthood. I don't know how i feel about it.

let go

I want to be in charge. I want control of my life. To be honest I have a hard time asking someone else to fix my problems, even if it is the Creator of the Universe. That sounds ridiculous, but its true. I know that God would do a much better job at handling my life and it would be a whole lot easier, but there is always that urge to not let go.
It's because my life is too precious to me. In my sometimes very worldly view of things I feel like it's all I've got. Yes, I know I have eternity. This is just a short chapter, a preface really, to what is to come, but I am short sighted. I see my problems and usually have a hard time seeing why my way of thinking and action isn't correct.

So, its time to let go. lose control. Ride through life with out the reins.

lyrics.

i love lyrics.
and i have found my new favorite song.
it has great lyrics.

No ones been riding with me for a long while
so I'm being careful trying to watch my speed
but its getting hard to keep my eyes on the highway
knowing you re over in the passenger seat

My heart be still
I'm havin' trouble breathing
wondering if you feel
the same way that I'm feeling
cold sweat
so strange I can't play it cool

My hearts out on the limit

girl give me something to lose

influence

When i was 8, teenage girls were all that i wanted to be. They were so pretty, so grown up, so perfect. They seemed to be so put together, they wore make-up. they had boy friends, they had cars, they had freedom.

Now I'm there. I'm in that stage of life that seemed to be so fantastic at such a young age. But its not as it seemed. I sometimes cry for no reason, boys confuse me, my car is purple and i usually wear very little to no make up at all. Nothing like the ideals of my childhood. School is hard. Relationships harder and finding my identity in Christ and myself is the hardest of them all.

But I love my life. I love these years. I love the the struggles, I know they are shaping molding me into the woman that i will one day be. Its okay that its not perfect. Its such a beautiful disaster.

So now i look at the little girls around me, the sweet little girls i baby sit. They must think life is great from where I stand. And really, it is. Its just not what they expect.

thats awkward.

Awkward moments make my life.
I am an awkward phone talker, I'm awkward when passing people in the hall and I'm really awkward around people I don't know.
yesterday, i was walking up our stadium stairs with my friend, Ashley and i tripped up the last stair. Number one, tripping is awkward. How are you supposed to respond to that? Pretend like it didn't happen?
that's probably what i would have done if the kid sitting at the top of the stairs didn't say " You tripped." Thank you, I was unaware of this fact. I am so grateful you could point this out for me. Not only that, but my friend cracked up. I mean really cracked up, and replayed the incident multiple times, and told just about everyone we knew that passed. it was awful
So we were coming back up the stairs for some reason or another when Ashley starts to talk to a friends mom. Three girls pass between them, and the man beside the woman Ashley is talking to says "Where are you going?" talking to one of the three girls. Ashley thought he was talking to her. "To my car" she says. "Oh I was talking to my daughter"
"I didn't want to talk to you anyway" and we leave. This time I cracked up. Sweet Karma. It was awkward.