wisdom from my mama

worry is about something that isn't, but something that we think will be.

uncharacteristicly procrastinating.

right now, I should be studying. I have a test in less than an hour.
I have only studied about 30 minutes for this test but for some reason I feel as if I could handle anything they throw at me.
ha, that's probably not true but for some reason my usually super studious mind has shut off.
I am completely unmotivated.
I have no desire to look at the physics book that my arms are resting on.
I am probably going to regret this feeling when I get in that test room.
oh well. Sometimes I just need to chill out. Grades aren't everything.
so in a way I am kind of proud of this new slacking feeling.
It, in a way, is kind of good. I know the material. I pay attention.
wish me luck. I feel like I'm going to need it on this test.

today, I am just tired of my world.

I am going to slip into the world of Nicolas Sparks.

knight in shining armor

people will be a disappointment to you.
They will let you down, hurt your feelings and sometimes even abandon you.
such a depressing and solemn idea.
But thats not the idea at all, that is the begining of the story. That is just the setting of the scene.
Introduce the main character; Jesus riding in on his white horse to save the day.
the reason people can be so disappointing to us is because we rely on others to fill spot that only our one true and perfect love could do. The love of Jesus christ is the ONLY thing that can fill these things. He is the ONLY one who can satisfy and who will never let you down of abandon you. so what are we doing looking to imperfect humans to fulfill these holes in our heart when we are beakoned by the one true King? Wouldn't it be lovely to just rely fully on God, give him all your troubles, let him fill your heart up with love? Why are we not pursuing this relationship with such determination as we do when we are in a romantic relationship, and why are we not busting at the seams to tell God our exciting secrets like we do with our best friends. what is holding us from focusing all of your attention on the only thing worth of our lives?

I just don't know.

lets talk about stress.
I have plenty to talk about.
I am taking 16 hours, pretty normal load. But they are 16 HARD hours.
Quantitative Chemistry, Engineering Calculus II, English, and physics as well as physics and chemistry lab.
I was working for nearly 11 hours straight today (well actually I had two breaks, lunch and 15min. workout and dinner). Its tough.
yeah, I' complaining. yeah, others have it harder.
but, I just need to vent to my virtual world so I don't overload my real one.
I have 14 assignments to do this week.
I had just about the same amount last week.
and that doesn't count the intro and outline I need to write.
I need to read. I need to clean. and I need to do laundry.
uhhh.
I'll get it all done, I know, but this is just the first year of Chemical Engineering.
Hello Mac. Goodbye social life.
okay I'm done.
I need sleep.


okay thank you for letting me vent. I am relaxed now. :)

amnesia.

so my pastor talked about spiritual amnesia that seems to take over our bodies when we hit a rough place in our life. This is basically temporarily forgetting everything God has done up to this point. Forgetting every way in which He has provided and every blessing He has bestowed.
It looks like I have been struck with another case of the forgetful disease.
God has provided. He will provide. Its a promise.
my life verse states (romans 8:28) that not only will things work toward His but also to the JOY of those who love Him. hello. what do I seem to think that means, its obviously not that He is going to make my life miserable.
So right now I am trying to sit back, relax, and take note of what God has done and what God will do.

oh john.

dear john mayer.
I am oh so excited about seeing you! I listen to you all the time, some would say its a bit of an obsession.
I hope you play I'm on fire. Please make this concert your best. :)

love,
Christin