so hey.

This weekend it finally clicked.

Jesus is MY friend. Jesus loves me. Jesus is more important.

more important than check lists and to-do's.

more important than reading my Bible

more important than how I act

more important than how I worship

more important than what people think

As daunting as this fact seems it was so relieving. Its always been in the back of my head but its never been in my heart. Although I knew I shouldn't try and earn the love of one who promised to never take His love away, I would still try.

That's the way I am used to getting things. I earn them, I don't like to just be given them. This posed a problem because as much as I tried I would NEVER earn Jesus' love. It was a gift and although I accepted that gift I felt it was my duty to repay. But I could never repay in-full and this constant underlying desire to do so just caused disappointment in myself for my being unsuccessful in this attempt I was only vaguely aware of.

But heres the good news this weekend I realized I am wrong, so very wrong in my attempts. I can just accept. Nothing is required from this gift. And guess what, Jesus is real and He's not just your conscience telling you when you've done wrong. He's a loving caring comforting awesome friend who walks every step with you. yep, if you have accepted him as your lord and savior he's right there beside you. Sometimes I feel like I just want to turn around and give Him a little hug. :)

So where does the whole 'do good' thing come from? I thought the Bible tells you to give to the poor and love the unlovable? How are those not things on the list of things to do?

This is how, we do in response to what has been done to us. Take for example the statement that we should love the unloveable. Doesn't the Bible love as you have been loved? ... 'been loved' thats what we have received and this isn't a repay kinda thing its a 'I have experienced this awesome thing and I want others to also experience it' kinda thing.

Take for example of the man in debtors' prison from the Bible. The one to whom he owed thousands and thousands of dollars to let him go without any repayment, and on the way out of jail the newly freed man met a man who owed him far less money. What did the man do? He threw this man in debtors' prison. How could he do that when he had just experienced being set free? Exactly. He wouldn't. That's the point, he would let him off just as he had been let off, thats why we want to do things just as love the unloveable and give to the poor.

We were loved by an amazing love and given unbelievable riches that we don't deserve.

So hey, this whole loving jesus thing, is AWESOME.