I'm movin'.
lets be honest. I didn't really post much anyway.
Check it out!

his gift.

Sometimes I try to tell God that I know what He is doing. I tell Him that I've got it and not to worry because I too understand the events to come.
And yet again He proves me wrong.

I thought this summer was going to be filled with independence and letting go, when tonight the majority of my day was spent strengthening relationships.

My day seemed uncharacteristically devoted to realizing the blessing of the people God has placed in my life as well as realizing the strength and depth of their love for me. As I tell God that He will be stripping me of the relationships i deem too important He is telling me that their importance is His gift to me. That in many cases their importance is holy. He has surrounded me with those whom I love and love me back.

i want that.

i was reading this blog today. Its astoundingly encouraging. The woman is pregnant with a child who has fatal kidney and heart conditions, but no matter her daughters fate her eyes are wholeheartedly focused on Christ. When she found out the news of her baby's condition the only words she could mutter were "... my Jesus is the same as He was before I walked into this room." She continued to say its is okay He is the same. He is the same. Her heart is surrendered wholly. Her motives are His motives. Her love is His love. She is His even if that means sacrificing something she loves so much as her child. She knows God is still God, and He is still good. The things of this world even as traumatic as loss of a child are not shaking the platform she is standing on.
I want that.
Grant me faith like that.
My feeble inabilities cause me to shake and crumble under pressure. I am easily confused and distracted but He isn't.
He has my way planned step by step, a focus on Him is more important than anything of this world.
He is all.
thats it.
Why am I so easily seduced by the things of this world? why is my attention so quickly averted and why do my emotions feel so important? Emotions with fluctuate, but truth will not.

I hear You say,
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

late.

new song

Ron Pope.
'fireflies' and 'a drop in the ocean'

One is silver

One of the most fun times in a friendship is the beginning. There are no problems, no weight, no baggage.
Its all fun. It is so new and exciting, with new things to learn every day. There is hope in the future and little at stake. It is carefree.

because Jesus first loved so too can I.

john mayer.
john mayer.
john mayer.
john mayer.

Valentine's day of Champions.

The ingredients to a beautiful Valentine's day:

1    breakfast with friends
12  pink roses
3    bags of chocolate
2    new CDs
1    cute boy
4    hours of The Office

enjoy.

wisdom from my mama

worry is about something that isn't, but something that we think will be.

uncharacteristicly procrastinating.

right now, I should be studying. I have a test in less than an hour.
I have only studied about 30 minutes for this test but for some reason I feel as if I could handle anything they throw at me.
ha, that's probably not true but for some reason my usually super studious mind has shut off.
I am completely unmotivated.
I have no desire to look at the physics book that my arms are resting on.
I am probably going to regret this feeling when I get in that test room.
oh well. Sometimes I just need to chill out. Grades aren't everything.
so in a way I am kind of proud of this new slacking feeling.
It, in a way, is kind of good. I know the material. I pay attention.
wish me luck. I feel like I'm going to need it on this test.

today, I am just tired of my world.

I am going to slip into the world of Nicolas Sparks.

knight in shining armor

people will be a disappointment to you.
They will let you down, hurt your feelings and sometimes even abandon you.
such a depressing and solemn idea.
But thats not the idea at all, that is the begining of the story. That is just the setting of the scene.
Introduce the main character; Jesus riding in on his white horse to save the day.
the reason people can be so disappointing to us is because we rely on others to fill spot that only our one true and perfect love could do. The love of Jesus christ is the ONLY thing that can fill these things. He is the ONLY one who can satisfy and who will never let you down of abandon you. so what are we doing looking to imperfect humans to fulfill these holes in our heart when we are beakoned by the one true King? Wouldn't it be lovely to just rely fully on God, give him all your troubles, let him fill your heart up with love? Why are we not pursuing this relationship with such determination as we do when we are in a romantic relationship, and why are we not busting at the seams to tell God our exciting secrets like we do with our best friends. what is holding us from focusing all of your attention on the only thing worth of our lives?

I just don't know.

lets talk about stress.
I have plenty to talk about.
I am taking 16 hours, pretty normal load. But they are 16 HARD hours.
Quantitative Chemistry, Engineering Calculus II, English, and physics as well as physics and chemistry lab.
I was working for nearly 11 hours straight today (well actually I had two breaks, lunch and 15min. workout and dinner). Its tough.
yeah, I' complaining. yeah, others have it harder.
but, I just need to vent to my virtual world so I don't overload my real one.
I have 14 assignments to do this week.
I had just about the same amount last week.
and that doesn't count the intro and outline I need to write.
I need to read. I need to clean. and I need to do laundry.
uhhh.
I'll get it all done, I know, but this is just the first year of Chemical Engineering.
Hello Mac. Goodbye social life.
okay I'm done.
I need sleep.


okay thank you for letting me vent. I am relaxed now. :)

amnesia.

so my pastor talked about spiritual amnesia that seems to take over our bodies when we hit a rough place in our life. This is basically temporarily forgetting everything God has done up to this point. Forgetting every way in which He has provided and every blessing He has bestowed.
It looks like I have been struck with another case of the forgetful disease.
God has provided. He will provide. Its a promise.
my life verse states (romans 8:28) that not only will things work toward His but also to the JOY of those who love Him. hello. what do I seem to think that means, its obviously not that He is going to make my life miserable.
So right now I am trying to sit back, relax, and take note of what God has done and what God will do.

oh john.

dear john mayer.
I am oh so excited about seeing you! I listen to you all the time, some would say its a bit of an obsession.
I hope you play I'm on fire. Please make this concert your best. :)

love,
Christin