influence

When i was 8, teenage girls were all that i wanted to be. They were so pretty, so grown up, so perfect. They seemed to be so put together, they wore make-up. they had boy friends, they had cars, they had freedom.

Now I'm there. I'm in that stage of life that seemed to be so fantastic at such a young age. But its not as it seemed. I sometimes cry for no reason, boys confuse me, my car is purple and i usually wear very little to no make up at all. Nothing like the ideals of my childhood. School is hard. Relationships harder and finding my identity in Christ and myself is the hardest of them all.

But I love my life. I love these years. I love the the struggles, I know they are shaping molding me into the woman that i will one day be. Its okay that its not perfect. Its such a beautiful disaster.

So now i look at the little girls around me, the sweet little girls i baby sit. They must think life is great from where I stand. And really, it is. Its just not what they expect.