stuck

This years going to be tough. I already have a project due soon and 2 test dates planed. I have an essay to write and math problems to do tonight. I guess thats whats to be expected on the first day with 3 college level classes and 2 honors.

I'm so ready to just get through this school year. To finish with the homework, the tests, and the SATs, not to mention the cliques, the gossip, and the partying. I can't wait to get out of high school. Graduation date is totally the light at the end of the tunnel.

but when i get there i have so much to face. so much to leave.

There is so much here that I want to prolong in the next year; friendships , the freedom that comes with having my own room and the comfort of MY world, the world I know. How could I want to leave that? Why would I ever want to stray from that?

So while wanting so badly to run toward the end, I have an unbelievable desire to stop and soak up the light at this beginning of this tunnel that I am about to enter into.

Being scared of every new change and scared of all the loss has almost shaded my view from seeing all of the amazing new opportunities waiting ahead for me. There are so many new relationships to be formed, some even better than the ones i have now.

But how can I say that? How can I bear to think that the ones that are so strong now will become second best to whats in store? It hurts to even think that.

The desire for comfort has found itself in a tough battle against a new since of adventure.